Once, after winning the Civil War,
And becoming President of the United States,
General Ulysses S. Grant invested
in a grandiose plan to bring water to California
(I'm pretty sure this is true)
By towing an iceberg from Alaska
(Neither Alaska nor California were states at the time)
He and his partner, a disreputable character named Ward,
Hired a boat, (I assume that's what they did,
I can't really remember the details)
and a captain and away they went.
(I don't believe I read anywhere that
Grant accompanied the captain on this trip)
Imagine, if you will, the look on Grant's face
When informed (likely by telegram) that the ship
arrived safely on the coast of California
(it doesn't matter where they docked. Not
for the purposes of this tale) sans iceberg.
Funny thing about icebergs, they don't last long in
warm climes. Maybe that's why there aren't any in California
with which to supplement the existing water supply.
Iceberg melted, money gone, Grant turned to the next venture.
This could have been predicted by anyone who knew Grant.
His failures far outweighed his successes
But he kept trying because his successes included
Winning the Civil War.
