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Oh that's where I left it.

Submitted by Neil McKay on March 24, 2012

I saw on the side of the road,
A stone that, when looked at
From one angle, slightly resembled
A cartoon heart.

I picked up this stone
That resembled a heart
I brushed off the dirt and put
It in my pocket.

I carried this heart-shaped stone
As I walked to your house
My hand in my pocket
Holding it, warming it.

At your door, I pulled the stone heart
Out of my pocket and examined it.
It was warm now and clean but
Rough to the touch, mottled and gray.

I handed you my heart
And you were charmed by it
You placed it on your nightstand
Where it remains to this day.

Comments

Clayton Medeiros

March 24, 2012

Nicely done and well said.

Neil McKay

March 25, 2012

I think I could do this more smoothly in a 2nd draft.

Clayton Medeiros

March 26, 2012

If you have not done so already, you might try reading it out loud to yourself. I find it helps me to see opportunities for rhythm, music and I like your word, smooth.