The Band Name Game

sometimes words are like toys
on a playroom floor
waiting for me to pick them up
and invent a new diversion
like did you ever play
the band name game?
it’s easy

when I’m driving or
shaving or washing dishes
I gather words and re-imagine
them as rock bands:
(Ladies and Gentlemen…)
Hefty Bag!
Spackling Compound!
Disenfectant Soap!
The Shivers!
The Sporks!

I like the way new contexts
make words sound fresh:
(Please welcome to our stage...)
Household Clutter!
Tedious Origin Story!
Severe Tire Damage!
The Book Marks!
The Amenities!
The Neckties!

sometimes I add a frontman
(All the way from Bakersfield…)
Petey and the Paint Cans!
Larry and the Lawnmowers!
Herman and the Hats!

lascivious and scatalogical
entendres are also excellent:
(Give it up for…)
Flatus!
Backside Cache!
The Lady Parts!
Manhole!

sometimes I actually picture the band
Flatus are Eurotrash
(and oh-so-serious)
Spork is an all-girl group
(they play the house-concert circuit)
Manhole is “a heavy-metal Village People”
(according to the press release)

these days you can play the
advanced version and
do a Google search
with the name plus
“band” or “music’
to see which names have
actually been taken
by earnest musicians
cranking away in smoky clubs
(one man’s whimsy
is another’s passion)

I could find out
but I’m afraid to look