In the old days,
Everyone was a poet for a few months.
Everyone wrote on Steno Pads
With EraserMate Pens with Erasable Ink
Putting their thoughts onto paper
Then removing them effortlessly.
In the old days,
Poets would keep their poems
In a shoebox under their bed
Relishing the idea of their unexpected death
And the aftermath when their old flame
Is handed the box. "You should have these,"
She is told. And then she must keep them forever.
In the old days,
Poems were raw expressions of unrequited lust
Misdiagnosed as love and
Given undeserved Shakespearean weight
As though no one had ever before considered
How the moon laughs at lovers.
Comments
Michael Mayhew
April 2, 2013
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I love this poem
I like the repetition of the first line. And I love the second stanza. Spot on. And the whole thing seems to have, as the youngsters used to say in the 90's, a dope flow.
I'm mixed on the last stanza, though. I kinda like it, but I kinda wonder what would happen if you dropped it entirely.
Neil McKay
April 2, 2013
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Yep, my biggest flaw is that
Yep, my biggest flaw is that I want to put a punch line on everything. But it's almost like I HAVE to do it like a joke in order to write the poem and then I can remove it and the joke becomes a poem. I appreciate this feedback more than you know.
Clayton Medeiros
April 3, 2013
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Well said
The last stanza could go and could form the basis of a new poem. Some endings are beginnings.
Benjamin Gorman
April 5, 2013
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I dunno
the last stanza works for me. For one thing, it needs 3. For another, I don't see it as unrelated or a joke, though I understand you feel you have that tendency.