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Squirrels

Submitted by Michael Mayhew on July 29, 2015

What a difference a fluffy tail makes!

Why just the other day
The wife and I stood watching as you
Scampered through our garden
Cutely bit through the stem
Of a large sunflower
And adorably dragged it home to eat

Much as you have done with our
plums, figs and oranges
Whose half-eaten corpses
You then pushed out of the
Tree onto the hood of my car —
Sploosh-plonk! Ruining the
Paint and littering the yard

Stupid squirrels!
I have murdered your cousins
For far lesser crimes
Crossing the threshold
Into the space where we live
Is a Capital Offense —
At least when you do it
In the dark of night
Sporting a scaly tail

But a fluffy tail, big brown eyes,
And daytime habits are
Keys to the lock of human tolerance

Why just last night my wife
Brought in from the garden
The most luscious
Momotaro Tomato —
Or at least the half
Which your gnawing had left —
Bleeding and gouged
Like the back half of a
Seal after the shark is finished

We frowned and then, with a
Shrug, sliced off the ragged edges
And used the rest in our
Pasta.

"There's enough for
All of us," I said.

"Stupid squirrels," she said.

Stupid squirrels.

Comments

joshua mertz

July 31, 2015

What I like about this is that it is not filled with vengance, but understanding. Whilst finding those rats in tuxedoes aggravating. Good one.