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THE LOVED ONE

There was a time when the light
Of the late afternoon
On the golden rolling hills
Was music
Now is is just light
On dead plants
Made dim with the
Low angle of the sun

There was a time when the air
Was alive with magic
With smells and sound
And a living caress
And the golden light
Of late afternoon
Now it is just air
The magic evaporated
By the grinding friction
Of what was once
Our love

There was a time when the water
Was your touch
And the spinning dance
Of being in this world
With you
Was the very heart
Of magic
Now it is lawyers and anger
And bitter backward glances
Rising in an epiphany
Of pain
In the dim light
Of the darkening sky

I wish I could wish it back
But the world is no longer new
The air, the light, the water
Now just elementals
Lacking the fourth facet
Of fire
For the fire is long gone
Leaving behind the fifth elemental
Named void

Comments

It moves and is moving. I like the way certain words - "golden" - repeat and gain meaning. And "bitter backward glances" has real power.

Crazy editing thought - try dropping the last stanza entirely.