Advice from Johnny Trash

Don't go to the store when you're hungry.
Don't go to the bar when you're dry
Never hook up with women who want you
They are silly, naive and they lie.

Buy groceries after you've eaten
Drink water instead of that beer
Chase women who choose to ignore you
For reasons that soon will be clear.

I've come home with spray cans of cheese whiz
I've come home and slept on the lawn
I've come home with flirts and with and teases
By morning, I wished they were gone.

But the smile that I get from a woman
Who previously thought I was sleazy,
Is worth more than all of the kisses
I got from the girls who were easy.