Because we all want to write more poems.
Lioness
in that instant
after you
roared at me
and I forgot that I
was the adult
and roared
right back
after you
went away
to sulk while I
sat fuming
after all that
when you
came back to me,
eyes downcast,
and told
me in a voice
soft as
mouse fur
that I
had hurt your
feelings,
and
you missed the
way we
all used to
spend time
together
in
that
instant
my anger
washed away
in a great
sad flood
and a
torrent
of pride
that
you had such
bravery
to trust me
with your
hurt
darling, there are
met at arms
who will race
into a firestorm
before they
admit
such things
men who will
detonate
their own bodies
before such
words can issue
from their throats
if I believed in
Christmas Wishes,
I would grant
everyone
on Earth
the power to
speak
as you spoke,
to
hear
as I heard
and for
one instant
have the courage
of a ten year
old girl
- Michael Mayhew's Shared Poems
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Comments
joshua mertz
November 22, 2015
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...wow...
Knowing the inner side of this relationship makes my appreciation even deeper. Heartfelt and honest, resting on the bravery of a child (whom I dearly love), admitting to being battered by emotional tides and swimming through it without drowning... this is a very strong poem. And yes, I aspire to have the courage of a ten year old girl.
Neil McKay
November 22, 2015
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Wonderful heartfelt poem. If
Wonderful heartfelt poem. If you were to publish this I would suggest only one thing. That it would be stronger without "the moment that." Through no fault of yours, that phrase has become a cliche thanks to Facebook and it's bandwagon-creating ability. I think the poem would stand up just as powerful or more without those particular lines.
Michael Mayhew
November 23, 2015
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thanks!
Josh - thank you so much for the kind words. They mean a lot.
Neil - I take your point. I certainly don't want people having the click bait meme du jour popping into their heads when they read my work. On the other hand, I do like the rhythm and structure of this one. But I have an idea which I'm stewing on that might resolve the issue. I need to sleep on it. Perhaps in a day or so I'll post a revision.
Again, thank you both for th positive response and the thoughtful notes.
MM
Michael Mayhew
November 25, 2015
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revised
revised one word swapped and a handful of others cut - seems to help